If your seeing this, you are likely already in the sphere i am thinking from and i have little new to offer beyond looking for ways to keep spelling solidarity. Charlottesville is a clarifying reminder of how deep seeded, pervasive and dangerous the state of white-supremacy is in this country. A surfacing of all the potential this immense hatred holds. White silence is violence, but let's not allow the feeling we get from making this kind of post just be a salve for an otherwise paralyzing white-guilt. Let's remember to take breaks from the spiral of how we ingest media around these events and seek tangible ways to do the oppositional work. We all will have a different task we are best at, something @shishi.rose taught me, was that activism looks different for everyone. if you have money, move it. If you have a voice, use it. If you can make things or gather people, share ideas and generate motion, do it. If you need to prioritize your own mental health to be able to do anything at all, do that! If you can cook, share a meal. If your fucking furious, honor your rage and take it to the streets. If your lonely, so is everyone, meet new likeminded people. we all need to prioritize and push for growth and change over our own comfort. whatever it is you can do or be, there is a way to do it in the direction of changing this system around us. resistance is daily work, a post like this is just the smallest fraction of tasks at hand.
you know that. #fuckwhitesupremacy
feeling like a pressed flower in my newest binder. ~~~ I routinely attempt to iterate the ways I don’t believe in cis-gender as an authentic identification; that gender is culturally constructed - that perhaps we can only exist in a state of reaching or role-play when it comes to these identifications.
I have felt disappointed in myself for resting so long in an identification of convenience, to pretend i actually ever believed that I am a woman.
My tits are small enough that most people don’t notice the difference between when I bind and when I don’t - but the difference of feeling can be so big for me. It’s not vein to want to feel seen, to want to present in some way where your internal self gets the chance of some fleeting legibility. I still post this, despite the stinging feeling of how any attempt at authenticity or vulnerability on this platform feels like an ironic sad performance of such. I’ll also bet that most people will look at this post as it being just another “girl” on social media, using some poetic waxing or victim-narrative as an excuse to post a pic of themselves where they think they look fuckable. which, whose to say, isn’t also true.
let's dismantle elitist intelligence measuring systems that are capitalist & colonially constructed.
not so certain what my pose is here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but i love the girls sooooooo
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over the moon to have finally met, hung out w & done a workshop w @alokvmenon emotional acupuncturist ~ left us all crying and laughing in their workshop on feelings they had last night - their words like pinpointed needles ~ sometimes to heal we have to also let ourselves feel the hurt can't fucking wait to see them perform WATCHING YOU/ WATCHING ME this sunday @ werkstatt der kultutren Berlin follow them if you need more gender exploding thoughts in your feed - i think we all do
ask urself every day what u are doing for trans-youth, trans femmes, NB folks, trans femmes of color, etc. don't wait, give your love actively and do the work of breaking down the transphobia that gets embedded in us and those around us from growing up in cis-supremacy. cis-supremacy & cis-normativity are systems of implicit violence. love harder, we have to try and work harder. giving real love and support saves lives.
spending time with family and doing the type of time travel that happens being around folks who still see you as past iterations of yourself (or at least through projections of those iterations); recalling with new clarity the inherent dysphoria and dysmorphia of being a teenager, puberty this intense moment of having the assignment of your gender felt in new ways.
maybe that sad-girl sadness I felt, and still feel versions of creep in, came more so from feeling the parts of self that get erased, unseen and crushed through the confines of a binary gendered girlhood. (*thankful for queer appropriation of the term “girl” to apply beyond the binary, as it makes space for it to still feel like an authentic identification.) ⚔️seeing the generations preceding me, cis “strong women”, perceiving me as one of them, loving them & in ways yes, being one of them, and yet grasping at the ways I am also not. wondering how we define our strength, for who and for what? and believing not in a real salvation or atonement for “women” as defined by cis-feminism or rather any cis-structuring.
scary secretary 4 @allinmagazine some real special stuff in this issue
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thinking about how access to nature and even the sanctioning of sites as such vs. otherwise, are divides embedded w racism classism & commodification, like most systems of access and land distribution. how funny and sad and harmful it is the way humans draw lines in the sand around themselves thinking this will protect them or make them feel more like an individual self who is not vulnerable to the leakage of interconnectedness. what a shame too, when pursuing the blurring of these lines may be a more fulfilling and interesting pathway all along... despite the mobility guilt i have from new found financial stability, i can't deny the holy and the magic of how this planet purrs and whimpers and speaks to us without language when we make or find the time to connect with it; to express my gratitude for these moments, when feeling swallowed up is not a scary thing but a comfort and a feeling of being seen through obliteration of self as separate from the whole, seen as a flower in the field, just an unfixed spot of color bobbing in the breeze. i was speaking with a friend today about how the plants, planets and animals will never misgender us, and something about that thought was so comforting. cyber-sunshine to anyone who needs it today