my best friend since day 1! when I was lil & my siblings went to school, I'd stay home with my dad & on my favorite days he'd buy me breakfast from Burger King lmao. Then when I started school, I'd get so excited if he picked me up that I'd run towards him, until one time I tripped and ate shit. I didn't cry though because he was taking me fishing. Growing up he was my closest friend, and it's an honor to say as I'm becoming an adult I still love to spend time with him, and his conversations are one of the things I cherish most. Happy Birthday Dad, it's a privilege to have someone like you 🥀
last week I was reading Andy's diary & I cried because he made me feel like a failure. But who, compared to this man's greatness, isn't a failure as well?
Happy DEATH DAY ANDY ! Thanks for inspiring me another year. Hopefully I'm making you proud.
stop apologizing for the things you've never done, cause time is short and life is cruel #iAint#NoFashionIcon
It is my #BIRTHDAY in 10 days. I'm turning 20, how wild is that? in the words of IGGY "Candy, LIFE IS CRAZY!" if y'all wanna celebrate my day of birth wit me, buy my book #thedeathofbeing & you'll receive cute stickers with it 🦋🖤
I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched. ☠️ a dear Valentine's Day dedicated to all dead lovers, Cleopatra and Antony alike.
I feel like my gut was cut open and all my insides were taken out so now I'm just a hollow body with lots of inner pain. And why? Because I am ALIVE, but without purpose, and everyone else is too.
I know nothing has meaning, and it haunts me.
While others fear it, death does not bother me. Because DEATH IS THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE!
Humans place much importance on being alive but what good is living? What is so GRAND about it?
The world we live in has no morals, we are beasts who paint ourselves as angels. We live in a hypocrite world filled with people trying to get ahead; and they're all heartless, selfish, disgusting.
Everyone walks around like Gods in Greece, in their own mythological world thinking what they do today matters. Thinking the quality of the products they buy matters ignoring that they're contributing to the trash building under their noses. Ignoring that the human race is responsible for all the tragedies of the world, and for its premature decaying too.
And it pisses me off that I have to be a part of it. It pisses me off that I was born into this world that told me I was born missing "my other half." And that my worth was based on the perception of others, and I must act like I care about mundane shit. And I must build myself a future, when all I see there is a casket.
You know what I daydream about?MY FUNERAL.
I like to sketch my own tombstone and debate what should go on it. I like to picture my decomposing body underground. And I think, oh how I WISH I could be conscious while my existence slowly became part of this earth. While humanity forgot I ever existed, and at last I would be at peace.
I more so wish I could stand atop my grave and think I FINALLY DIED! NO MORE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT, just death. #thedeathofbeing#candywarhola
I want to be an astronaut so badly, it breaks my empty heart
#tb I composed & recorded this song with my phone one dawn, I think it was 4AM, I forgot the name & chords, so I'll call it #TheGHOSTsong#candywarhola
time, places, people,... they're all speeding up. So, to cope with this evolutionary paranoia, strange people are chosen who, through their art, can move progress more quickly.#velvetgoldmine
PEOPLE tell you to BE YOURSELF when you are young. But then if you are different they alienate you. Your only options then are to change or to accept being a MISFIT. A group of kids dressed in black may be misfits but at least they have each other. While the kid who broods in the bathroom has nothing but the dead reflection in the mirror. I was that kid, and the eyes in the mirror were filled with hate. Not for myself but for others. For the world that shut me in a bathroom stall with my anxiety, and all the secret teenage codes I did not know about. Sometimes I wondered if I was sick in the head because of all the hate. The hate that came from everyone lying, saying all of life's delights were confined inside those halls. But I couldn't feel a single one. Instead I felt resentment for the importance placed on grades, extracurricular activities, friendships and impressions. I just couldn't give a fuck about any of it. If life is meaningless then four years were merely a blip. And that's what bothered me most, that I seemed to be the only one aware. I was an alien, I felt like one. That was the reason I hated everyone.|| HIGH SCHOOL, an insignificant human experience. You define your path, not others. No matter how hard or hateful it gets, don't let yourself go. #thedeathofbeing
look at me, all alone. alone by choice. overweight by choice. serious by choice. and entirely proud of who I am. unchanging, unmoved, I'm my biggest ally. people give themselves too much value when they question my motives or actions, believing their opinion matters. but I was born alone & I'll die alone. my opinion is the only thing that has ever mattered to me. my self worth comes from inside. my grave will not be lonely because it will have me in it. R YOU YOUR BEST FRIEND ???? you should be.
FAV #VADER QUOTE do not underestimate the power of THE FORCE !! •darkdaddy in the style of #candywarhola
"Andy was polite and humble. He rarely told anyone to do things, he'd just ask in a hopeful tone...he treated everyone with respect, he never talked down to anyone. And he made everyone feel important." been wanting this book forever, so thrilled to finally have it in my ANDY Collection, the mind of my ultimate muse becomes my own as I read his thoughts. #candywarhola
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FINALLY got a stylus replacement + The Black Album on vinyl is as beautiful as I imagined #DAMNED
my wife is right !!! we should all be feminists ps. I really love Natalie Portman, she carrying my child 🏻
I haven't read a proper book since October & that pisses me off. I'm gonna c my doctor soon & tell her Citalopram isn't doing it for me. I've reread the first five pages of this like 3 times now ha-ha.
Eileen Cowin presented her pictures in pairs so that the viewer could create a story for themselves. Usually photography as art doesn't appeal me, but hers is effective and self-revealing.
someone told me depression is "like an emptiness" and not as I described it, "being dead." she questioned my intentions for so openly speaking of it, and even suggested I think of what it is I am not doing to stop it.
And I thought to myself, "do I, who has lived with this silent terror half my life, not KNOW what it is I feel? Does this girl know what it is and what it isn't, while I just sit begging for attention?" Surely the day-to-day dread I feel for doing anything isn't on purpose. Is the world as colorless and insipid? Does everyone become unsettled as easily as I do and do we all suddenly abhor everything? Yesterday I went to places that I thought would make me happy. As I walked I had to suddenly stop because my vision was blurred by tears. I had no reason to cry. The sky was bright and the winter leaves under my feet were like those hanged on paintings in museums; but I just wanted to be somewhere else, alone in the dark. Because when I am alone in the darkness feeling nothing, I cannot tell it is not right.
It is only when I am in situations in which others smile, and I don't, that I realize I am depressed. It is only when no song, no artist, no film, no book and no food appeals me that I realize I am depressed. It is only when I am speaking with someone but inside my mind is running, that I realize I am depressed.
I didn't choose depression, I just live with it. Some days it is harder, and some days I feel fine. But never have I seen depression as an asset or as a reason to why others must approach me. I take my depression and I turn it into words, sometimes I turn it into cheap art. Why? Not because I am looking for affection nor because I am looking for advice, I do not need either. I do it because this is the illness I live with. It is not a mood cured by gentle words on beautiful imagery. #candywarhola#thedeathofbeing
get things done, you better not mess with Major Tom inspired by one of my favorite BOWIE looks to celebrate his first Death Day. Death Day is what they celebrate in the afterlife according to me. I bet he's having an amazing party I can almost feel his beautiful smile.
there are people who see our pain and do not understand it. that is because they don't know you like we do, they haven't felt you running through their veins. they don't know how you're always there regardless of time and day. perhaps they've never known how it is to be alone, but I do.
David, you never knew, but you were the cure to my inner gloom. The only way I could shut my restless mind was by drowning my dark thoughts with your voice, which was the sun in my winter. The only way I could gather energy was to pretend I was dancing with you. The only person who I could trust with my feelings was you, because in your songs you showed me you already knew. You knew me better than I knew myself, and in that way you helped me grow. I found courage through your music, I met life through your songs, but most important of all is I found a friend. A real friend. I finally knew what it was like to feel comforted and I finally understood what it was like to be accepted. When you came into my life everything was changing, you helped me accept that. You changed me David Bowie, if not for you I wouldn't be who I am today. Thank you immensely, you own my heart. #bowielives#candywarhola#thedeathofbeing
breathless and with a tiny tear on the corner of my eye. this took me out of reality for a couple minutes, I knew for the while I watched this that Bowie was alive and everything in the universe was exactly as it is meant to be. There is life after death and Bowie runs through my veins. #noplan#davidbowie#helives
this is what guitar cases are ACTUALLY meant for I have three times as many records as this & I don't know where to place them lol (this happens every month when I get an existential crisis btw)
raining, an icon walks down the street.| catch me while I'm still alive, y'know it's a trend that legends die #candywarhola
THE DEATH OF BEING; inner isolation and other remarks upon being dead, is a nonfiction thought-provoking book exploring the effects of depression. It includes an introduction, two essays, poems, illustrations and a short horror story. It is a self-published gloomy work of art by a 19 year old college student who has been writing for years. Advanced in English and reading, the author used to publish on wattpad where her stories quickly gathered attention and praise. Here is her first official publication for $12 in the United States and $15 internationally (free shipping). DM or Comment below for any information or questions . #candywarhola#thedeathofbeing
here's a #THROWBACK some of you may remember, once upon a time my hobby was to dress up as my idols and imitate them. It was incredibly fun. My teen days are going to be over relatively soon, maybe I should do a last one before then #lostinspace
Humans are too insignificant.
I am at a loss for words and deeply hurt by the news. I can hardly believe she's gone when she was as strong and beautiful as ever. Death really is sudden and without warning. I hope Carrie had a peaceful passing and I hope she knew how much she means to many of us. 🥀
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