Today I got to the assets section of my Fourth Step and answered the first question by listing 100 I like (and what others like) about myself. I honestly thought that this process would take several days, but I surprised myself and knocked it out in about 20 minutes. It came easily.
Perhaps I was motivated by an impetus... In recovery we have a great saying that resonates very deeply with me - when the pain of staying where we are becomes greater than the fear of change, then we will spring into action.
I was experiencing pain that I did not feel comfortable with, so I wanted to switch gears and do something profoundly positive for myself. It took me back to several times my life when I felt so crushed, battered and broken, and the only way I could get out of it was by lifting myself up. In the past, I would do exercises where I would remind myself things I have accomplished, and that inherently, I have a great heart and a good soul. Though I have flaws and definitely act out on character defects, at the heart of it, there is really good shit here.
Recovery does not make my life perfect, and it certainly doesn't eliminate pain from my life. However, it gives me tools and resources to learn to accept how things are, to take responsibility for my actions, to let go of the things I have no control over, and to practice some awareness and acceptance in my life.
This program is teaching me to act in alignment with my best and greatest self, and also to forgive myself when I make mistakes. It's showing me that instead of beat myself up and do something self detrimental, to instead focus on a better way to think, act and live.
Today I got the opportunity to both reflect on my assets, and to express some of my finer qualities.
#Comedy A NIGHT OUT WITH KAY (@thelifeofkay), THIS SUNDAY, February 26, 2017! With two shows. . . YES TWO OPPORTUNITIES . . . in one night @ 6 PM & 8 PM at JUST $10, this is ONE experience YOU don't want to miss!! LISTEN . . . when you leave a show @thelifeofkay has done or hosted, you need to have people who understand your random spurts of laughter and reflections when you attempt to retell the joke . . . SOOOOOOOOO, who are you bringing with you?
Tag a friend
Tell a friend
Bring a friend ... or a few friends
JUST DON'T MISS THIS!!! Tickets: www.MrKasaunWilson.eventbrite.com
Let me tell you, you are not alone. Do you internalize your fears, tears and anger. Or do you rage. Do you shout and scream and feel your hot tears on your cheeks. I watch him hold it together. And collapse into my arms. Heaving his day into my shirt. He can't breathe. He can't win. He has no friends. He doesn't understand their jokes. Their laughter at him. He tries to tell a joke. Why can't I be like THEM. I pull him back. I feel my wet shirt. Why on earth would you want to be. You are beautiful. You are calm. You see the greatness in situations. You must use your words. The words he didn't have for so long. When he screamed his colors. And pointed at his eye. His heart. And me. I love you, in words I couldn't hear. You have strength beyond your capacity. A road paved with an army of friends and others you've never met, who stand by you. Who stand by me. You hold it together. The pieces fall into my arms. I'm always ready to catch you. And one day, your rhythm will come. Your tears won't fall too easy. But you still won't be like them. You will be you. The very best you. And on that road we have traveled, those around you will smile. That warm atta boy smile. Because let me tell you, you are not alone. Xoxoxo #harddays#gooddays#giveittogod#andleanonyourarmy#brickbybrick
We share the struggle so we for damn sure celebrate the success from @j_kallay2 - "I DID IT!!" Pulled a NEW PR of 235lb Sumo off the plates today - and I CELEBRATED!! 🏼 I celebrated soo hard that I had a permanent ear to ear grin all night while l was High-5ing and HUGGING anyone and everyone who was at the gym tonight wanting to celebrate with me! Just a week ago I pulled 225lbs for a PR, so I CANNOT WAIT to see what type of numbers I'll be hitting in my Main 3 once we decide it's time to Reverse Diet!! Who said you CAN'T make legit gains in a Fat Loss phase!? Up from my starting number of 185lbs from 16 weeks ago when I decided to start my Powerlifting journey!!!!! To all my gym friends - sorry not sorry for all the sweaty hugs and high fives!!!!! But thank you for celebrating with me!!! Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT! 🏼🏼🏼🏼