So today I found out that someone who claimed to be close to me, called this self-less beauty controlling??? Lmao okay sweetie. Keep your opinions to yourself and your friends.
Ruby has been a rock in my life.
Spending her time and money to come and see me because I could barely leave the house due to anxiety?
Watching me struggle to do such basic things like walk the dogs around the block but not enabling me to avoid it, but not forcing me to do it- encouraging me to try it.
Not judging me for anything. Not my music or TV tastes, not my body shape, not my mental state... nothing.
Holding me and calming me down when I really tried to fight my way out of top surgery because of anxiety?
Constantly telling me she's proud of me and constantly trying to persuade me to try new things? Like taking me out in her car at ridiculous times at night, down the same roads again and again just to get me to feel comfortable with her driving.
Trusting me enough to tell me her past, to tell me her troubles, to introduce me to her gorgeous family despite the fact I'm different and probably not mentally the kind of person you'd want to show to family.
Not leaving me despite the fact we've gone out like "normal" couples do all the time about 10 times in the 2 years we've been together.........
Jesus, if this is what a controlling relationship looks like then you are all need to find yourself a "controlling" partner and mind yall business cause you're not my mom. xoxo
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I often worry that I'll never overcome the addiction to anxiety that comes with said anxiety... But recently I've noticed that I've been cigarette free for 1/3rd of a year already, I've been eating #lchf and have been within my BMI for 3 years, I have not had an alcoholic drink for 2 years and I haven't taken any recreational drugs for about 2.5 years.
It's incredibly hard to notice anything but the negative, and maybe, just maybe, the key to happiness is just.... noticing? 🤔*DISCLAIMER: 3 people have now DM'd me about the drugs. Can you not? I purposely didn't mention any drug because I don't like talking about them. Plus, mind your own damn business and stop trying to take my self-positive message and just focusing on the fact I used to take drugs*
COME ON #RPDR9 LETS GET SICKENING!!! - I don't know why the fuck I did this but I can't stop laughing. And if you can't laugh at yourself how the hell you gonna laugh at somebody else.
⏱ -1 day vs 101 days post #topsurgery ⏱
Right now, I'm just trying to work on my physical health and I feel like my work is finally starting to show.
Just remember, the only person you need to justify yourself to, is yourself. Take everything with a pinch of salt and a smile because people will think they are helping you when they are really hindering you. Try and just brush it off and thank yourself for being patient, despite the fact you want to smash your head into a wall and yell at everyone who pretends they understand but just makes things worse behind your back. Always try to see it from all sides before you jump the gun and make it worse for you and your friends/family 🤗
I'm proud of who I am becoming (in my Calvins)
I'm fed up of people deciding for me whether I am masculine or not?!? The amount of people that support trans* but say to me "you're obviously not truly a man because you didn't want nipples and all men have nipples" ....... if me not having nipples makes me that un-masculine then you're gonna have a heart attack when you hear what's going on under these Calvins!!!! I have come MILES from where I began. I was an obese, miserable, "feel sorry for me" kind of kid and I'm PROUD to see myself grow and become a better person, physically and mentally. My (lack of) nipples does not change the fact that I am a trans-masculine man thnx. xoxo
🏻 Constant progression 🏻
⏱ Left to right: ⏱
- Pre-T (182 pounds) - 13 months on T (126 pounds) - 25 months on T (125 pounds)
4th instalment of my facial progression. (Left to Right) 8, 10, 13 and 25 months.
I went outside topless briefly today for the first time ever and Jesus Christ the sun on my back was the most freedom I've ever felt.
I'm trying to enjoy everyday like it's Saturday.
I heard some horrific ripping sound doing weighted bench dips today and now my titties keep twitching and feel like fresh incisions again. I'm going to have to recover for longer than wanted 🤗 I'm still smiling though because I look cute as fuck????
It's officially the 25th here in the WHICH MEANS.... ITS my 2nd #maniversary
----------------------------------------------------(Voice comparison to come today when it's actually day time and I look presentable )
Left: 2 days away from 1 WEEK on T.
Right: 2 days away from 2 YEARS on T.
Still no bushy moustache but I can wait 🤗
Thank you for everyone who has been here for me on my ongoing journey. Bring on another year of being me 🏻
Now that I've had #topsurgery I thought it was finally time to get my favourite design I've drawn on a tshirt! As much as I fear space, I love the NASA logo and wanted to make it more... me!
*DM ME IF YOU WANT THE LINK TO BUY ONE*
I'm 45 degrees away from Jedward if that's not a sign I need a haircut I don't know what is.
68 days ⏱
This is Poppet and she's adorable. Didn't think we'd be getting another dog for a long time but her story melted our hearts and we wanted to help her. PLUS she's a #chinesecrested who doesn't hate me like our other one
Lookin' very femme at the moment but who cares? I'm a big enough boy now to realise that I can't always look manly
Elliot from the #nonipples gang here... Topless as per! 2 months post #topsurgery today 🏼 I feel so good about my body right now. I've lost 5% body fat in a week just by really focusing on bodybuilding and my macros. It's amazing what you can achieve when you really focus. I can already see a little preview of chest gains and that is SOOO EXCITING.
That's all for now! Stay groovy.
(Kind of obvious) Tip for my pre-T bois: Workout! I've literally only been able to work out since Monday and oh my good god it has made a mad difference on my dysphoria. Granted, I want to cut my body fat off I hate it so much- but I am feeling much more masc than I usually do considering I'm nearly 2 years on T. 🏻
Almost forgot that I'm 2 years on T this month! Here's an early compassion of me Pre-T (2013) and 19 days away from 2 years on T!
I've lost 5lbs since Monday getting my lazy ass back into deep #ketosis 🏻 plus I can start working out from Monday, which is exciting! How's your Saturday going?
Finally spoke to my GP about my anxiety. Looks like I'm finally sorting my shit out! Having un-wanted breast tissue removed does wonders to your motivation! 🤙🏻
7th December 2016 ⏱ VS ⏱ 31st January 2017 (49 days post #topsurgery) - I'm so so happy with how well it's healing- there are parts of my chest that have already started turning white which is absolutely amazing! I feel more like me everyday and it's so refreshing. 🏻
*#ftm Trans-Daddy cuddling his babies*
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Much love, Elliot xoxo
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Bringing a new meaning to "Netflix and Chill". Love @innokintechnology so much; had to nab this storm edition of the cool fire IV plus before all of them disappear due to the discontinuation #femaletovape
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